I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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