This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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