What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
