My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
