Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
