You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
