i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
