my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm both gender and math confused
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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