I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
