she looked like the bat from fern gully.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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