It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
