Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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