I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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