i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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