Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
