I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
