no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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