Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
