i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize