dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
