I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize