I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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