never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
