That's intense
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize