the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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