Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
