I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
