Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
