Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
