lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
