So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
