Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
