oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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