laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
