we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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