Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
