somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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