We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
