Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I need to align my fucking chakras
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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