she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
