Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize