i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
