He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
