I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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