i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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