Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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