I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
