I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
