I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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