Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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