Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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