She's JV to your varsity
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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