A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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