Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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