my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
