Don't you send me to vm
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
