i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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