Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
