I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
