I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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