So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize