he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
