what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just had sex on a roof
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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