my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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