38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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