she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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