It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
