Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
