tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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