trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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