You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize