with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
