Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
