Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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