Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
