Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
