remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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