Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think your dad took our porno
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
