By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
dude. I can hear the air.
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