I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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